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THIS.  THIS.  THIS IS GENIUS.

THIS.  THIS.  THIS IS GENIUS.

Julio Valiente. Translated.

Julio Valiente!
Valiente…
Julio Valiente, Julio Valiente
This is the story of what happened long ago
We still remember the story often told
In a town called San Basilio, no matter how quaint
In every humble hut, people act with such restraint

Julio Valiente
Julio Valiente
Julio Valiente
Valiente, Valiente, aaaah!

But in every corner, you will find a snake
You’ll find an oppressor, whose loyalty is faked
But there’s Julio Valiente, loved by hearts so true
Society’s defender, from all who dare abuse

Julio Valiente, he’s handsome, courageous
He’s very skilled in using a bolo and poignard
He’s a true hero who’s difficult to fight
And even with firearms, he’s skilled with hand and sight

Although he will face a horde of enemies
Never victorious, their triumphs will decrease
So long as there’s San Basilio, and there is Valiente
The town will be defended, from those who break the peace

Julio Valiente
Julio Valiente
Julio Valiente
Valiente, Valiente, aaaah!

Julio Valiente
Julio Valiente
Julio Valiente
Valiente, Valiente, aaaah!

But in every corner, you will find a snake
You’ll find an oppressor, whose loyalty is faked
But there’s Julio Valiente, loved by hearts so true
Society’s defender, from all who dare abuse

Julio Valiente, he’s handsome, courageous
He’s very skilled in using a bolo and poignard
He’s a true hero who’s difficult to fight
And even with firearms, he’s skilled with hand and sight

Although he will face a horde of enemies
Never victorious, their triumphs will decrease
So long as there’s San Basilio, and there is Valiente
The town will be defended, from those who break the peace

Julio Valiente
Julio Valiente
Julio Valiente
Valiente, Valiente, aaaah!

Julio Valiente, he’s handsome, courageous
He’s very skilled in using a bolo and poignard
He’s a true hero who’s difficult to fight
And even with firearms, he’s skilled with hand and sight

Although he will face a horde of enemies
Never victorious, their triumphs will decrease
So long as there’s San Basilio, and there is Valiente
The town will be defended, from those who break the peace

Puns… because #itsmorefuninthephilippines

Might as well post ‘em here for posterity’s sake.  This is all a consequence of boredom.

  1. NORZAGARAY, Norzagaray, sige lang sige lang, itaas ang kilay
  2. But my love’s BOHOL, I have, to give
  3. ANILAO you want it, just the way you need it
  4. Yeah you’re PUERTO GALERA, for a girl
  5. Livin’ in a material world, I’m in CORREGIDOR
  6. So I’m SAMAL All My Love For You
  7. They be like smoove, what, can you teach me how to BAGUIO
  8. CEBU, Cebu, yalalalalalalalalalala, Cebu, Cebu
  9. PASAY Ko Ang Daigdig
  10. CAINTA Fight This Feeling Anymore
  11. ANGONO Love You Before I Met You
  12. JOLO, Is It Me You’re Looking For
  13. I Wanna Dance With ZAMBOANGA
  14. MAYON At Kailanman
  15. Didn’t We Almost Have It TAAL
  16. I’ll Find SAN JUAN Like You
  17. Oh Whoa, LA UNION a Prayer
  18. And DAVAO Will Always Love You
  19. I’m QC For You, Touch Me Once and You Know It’s True
  20. You And Me, Sitting On A Tree, M-A-N-D-A-U-E
  21. MARIKINA, Out Of Nothing At All
  22. We’ve Only Just VIGAN
  23. Who Cares Baby, I Think I’m Gonna MARILAO
  24. PORAC The Party That Rocks The Party
  25. I’m On The Right Track Baby, SORSOGON This Way
  26. Sa Yakap Mo’y Ako’y Na-su-SUBIC
  27. LUCENA Yo, Coz This Is It
  28. I’ve BINAN Mother, I’ve Binan Father, Could You Ask Me For More
  29. O Giliw Ko, MISAMIS Kita
  30. I Know BACOLOD Of Love, and It Lives Inside of You
  31. SAN FERNANDO Iiwake, my one and only
  32. TAGAYTAY a Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree
  33. LIMAY Dipang Taong Nagtutulakan
  34. OBANDO, Sa Rehas Na Gawa Ng Puso Mo
  35. ANTIQUE Kong Lalake, Medyo Bastos
  36. NAGA Never Give You Up
  37. IMUS Have Been Love
  38. This Guy’s In Love With APARRI
  39. AYALA la la long, Ayala la la long long i long long long
  40. Just a day, just an, URDANETA day
Just because #itsmorefuninthephilippines…

The campaign needs a jingle.  Here’s one DIRECTLY COPIED from Rebecca Black’s “Friday.”

Yeah… ah-a-a-ah-ah-ah
Ooo-oo-ooh, hoo yea, yeah
Yeah-eh-ah
Yeah-eh-ah
Yeah-eh-ah
Yeah-eh-ah
Yeah-eh-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah…

7,107 islands in the country
Beaches so fresh, with the awesome fairs
Pottery bowls and fantastic coral
Goin’ sightseeing and my time is runnin’
Manila’s on-and-on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch the bus and see my friends

Standing near the front seat
Pushing for the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
There’s no seat I can take…

It’s the Philippines, Philippines
It’s more fun in the Philippines
Everybody’s travelling for the weekend, weekend
Philippines, Philippines
It’s more fun in the Philippines
Everybody’s travellin’ for the weekend

Philippines, partyin’ (YEAH)
Philippines, partyin’ (YEAH)
#1forFUN, #1forFUN, #1forFUN, #1forFUN
Travellin’ for the weekend

7:45 at the National Highway
Wanna go there fast, off to NAIA to fly
#1forFUN, #1forFUN, think about #1forFUN
You know what this is
Kamatis, Chocokiss
My friend is by my right
TaxiKick, TaxiKiss
Now you know it

Standing near the front seat
Pushing for the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
There’s no seat I can take…

It’s the Philippines, Philippines
It’s more fun in the Philippines
Everybody’s travelling for the weekend, weekend
Philippines, Philippines
It’s more fun in the Philippines
Everybody’s travellin’ for the weekend

Philippines, partyin’ (YEAH)
Philippines, partyin’ (YEAH)
#1forFUN, #1forFUN, #1forFUN, #1forFUN
Travellin’ for the weekend

Yesterday it was Marinduque
Today i-is sa Leyte, Leyte,
We-we-we so excited,
We so excited
We gonna have Fishball today…

Tomorrow is Lagawe
And Baguio comes after…wards
I don’t want this weekend to end…

PH, Philippine Islands
So chillin’ with halo-halo (halo-halo)
Ginatang, bilo-bilo (bilo-bilo)
I’m drivin’ cruisin’ (yeah yeah)
Fast-lane, fast-lane
Wit’ a bus by my side (FAIRVIEW ORTIGAS ILALIM-LALIM!)
(C’mon) Drivin’ to the Hundred Islands in a minute
Or Bacolod, Inasal manok, dirty ice cream
Check my time, Dumaguete, it’s a weekend
And in Davao, gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all

It’s the Philippines, Philippines
It’s more fun in the Philippines
Everybody’s travelling for the weekend, weekend
Philippines, Philippines
It’s more fun in the Philippines
Everybody’s travellin’ for the weekend

Philippines, partyin’ (YEAH)
Philippines, partyin’ (YEAH)
#1forFUN, #1forFUN, #1forFUN, #1forFUN
Travellin’ for the weekend

It’s the Philippines, Philippines
It’s more fun in the Philippines
Everybody’s travelling for the weekend, weekend
Philippines, Philippines
It’s more fun in the Philippines
Everybody’s travellin’ for the weekend

Philippines, partyin’ (YEAH)
Philippines, partyin’ (YEAH)
#1forFUN, #1forFUN, #1forFUN, #1forFUN
Travellin’ for the weekend

The identity of the Filipino today is of a person asking what is his identity.
Nick Joaquin